The difference, this time I actually ovulated! Was it a "strong" ovulation? No, probably not. But after having my FIRST EVER positive OPK test, and CD21 blood work done to check my progesterone level, it was confirmed that I did indeed ovulate. Last month on 50mg Clomid my progesterone was 1.23, very clear that I did not ovulate. This month, on 100mg Clomid my progesterone was 5.99! My doctor told me anything >3 would mean I did ovulate. BUT, ideally we would like >10, or even 15 or 30! We also did another transvaginal ultrasound to check if I had a corpus luteum cyst (aside from pregnancy, really the only definitive way to prove someone ovulated). [As of posting this, still waiting to hear the final report]. So while my husband says "I'd put this in the win column", it's still a bit of a downer. Oh how badly I want a sky high CD12 estradiol level (this month mine jumped from 55.8 to 86.4), a stellar CD21 progesterone level, and most importantly, a chance to create a miracle!
Again I ask, "So now what!?"
Well, after talking things over with my doctor, we decided one more try at a higher dose of Clomid, 150mg. Each month my body (specifically ovaries) has responded more and more. Starting with my progesterone challenge in March were I only spotted for like an hour, to a full on period my second month into suppressing my ovaries with estrogen and progesterone. Then with the Clomid from getting a period even though I didn't ovulate the first month to now actually ovulating (sorta) with an increase in the dosage. Each month my hormone levels get a little bit better.
"What if it doesn't work next month?"
This is a question we'll have to discuss at that time. If I have a strong, normal ovulation but don't get pregnant do we try another month? At that point we would finally be on the same playing field as every other fertile couple out there. Would we do an HSG to check my fallopian tube patency? Check out Phil's swimmers?
The positive to all this uncertainly and constant "What next?" is this: Choices! We have plenty of choices at our finger tips, and a wonderful friend/Doctor to guide us through this! Sure, I'd love to be pregnant by now, but deep down I know that's just not how our story is supposed to go. The longer we try, while hard to believe, but the less stressed I get. I know we will get there, I just know it. And I know it will happen exactly when it's supposed to happen. It's just gonna take a little longer than most! I mean, throughout my life, anything that was worth having took hard work and dedication to get! God is just taking His time, making a perfect little baby just for us! Until then, we will move forward and continue to take it one day at a time (of course with the help of the love and support from all of you!)
Also, in the mean time, before kids, this is what Phil and I do in our free time! Enjoy!